Monday, September 9, 2013

My Feminist Confessions

Happy Monday (It’s sunny and not freezing in Hamilton so I think it’s been a pretty great Monday so far)! I was originally going to post something about Miley Cyrus, but then I decided against it because just no. Ain’t nobody got time to continue to beat this dead racist horse. Anyway, once I decided against ranting about Hannah Montana, I had a hard time figuring out what to write about in this post. After digging deep into my soul I realized that I need to just be honest. While I am a Ladyist (I’m trying that out in replace of Feminist because I think it’s a cuter word and I love cute words. Let me know what you think.) and have been for quite some time now, I need to come clean about some things I do, believe, say, etc that don’t exactly fall in line with standard Feminist values. Now some of these may be more controversial than others, but the first step toward recovery is admitting the problem right? *nervous laugh*
1. I listen to misogynistic music ALL the time. I know we all agreed that “Blurred Lines” is not the move right now, but it’s still starred in my Spotify. What’s even worse is that that song is only the tip of the iceberg. Don’t get me started on my heartbreak after hearing Rick Ross enthuse about date rape...
2. I refer to groups of people as “you guys” more often than I want to admit. This is bad one for me because this is probably the first feminist stance I ever actively took in life. When I was a wee little lass I realized that it was silly to call a group of people “you guys” especially if the group was not guys.
3. Bitch is one of my favorite words. Sorry ya’ll. I’m pretty vulgar in general and I can’t seem to shake this one. If it’s any consolation, I use it to describe people of all genders and not just women because I’m an equal opportunity offender.
4. Sometimes (very rarely though) I feel guilty for enjoying “feminine” things like makeup, heels and boys. Ok maybe not the boys part, but definitely the former things.
5. I don’t understand women who choose to be stay at home moms forever. I respect the choice, but I just think it’s really boring to sit home all day while your kids are at all school and your husband/wife/partner is at work.
6. I will never in my life pay for a date. Self explanatory.
Being a Ladyist, much like planning a dinner with your friends on a group chat, is hard sometimes. It’s something we all have to constantly work out. You can’t just achieve Feminism. We discover new ways the patriarchy has screwed us every day and we have to learn and adapt. While I can always say that my core values are pretty solid and unwavering, it’s the little stuff that trips me up. Humans are not perfect. Not even Feminists, believe it or not, but I really think it’ll help me get better by admitting some of these to ya’ll. 

I also know that I’m not the only one guilty of these things. What are some of your Feminist Confessions? I really would love to know!

Gossip Girl

EDIT: I'm going to be more clear for #6. It's not nearly as self explanatory as I thought because ya'll aren't in my head. Anyway, surely a strong and nominally independent woman like myself who will soon have her really expensive coaster Bachelor's degree can feed and entertain herself on her own dime, right? Damn right she can...but she can also choose not to. I will not pay for dates because 1.) I'm cheap. 2.) The wage gap among genders is real and as long as I'm on the losing end I will protest in this way. 3.) I think that any man interested in courting me (now accepting applications btw ;-)) should put a literal investment in feeding and entertaining me. If he doesn't want to, then he's not the man for me. That's all.

1 comment:

  1. I definitely share many of your sentiments and face some of these same contradictions in my life. I also truly appreciate the honesty in your post. As a self-defined feminist I have recently been looking at my life through a feminist lens and have found myself questioning some of my actions. Although some things, like listening to misogynistic music may not fall into the traditional activities of a feminist I do not think they should be forbidden either. Just because we enjoy listening to this type of music or refer to people as ‘you guys’ I don’t think we should have to question our feminist identifications. Since most of these actions are guilty pleasure or subconscious habits I think your categorization of them as confessions is accurate and I don’t think they are significant enough to challenge securely held values.
    The question arises though, are these actions perpetuating anti-feminist ideals in a larger context. If we stopped listening to misogynistic music, and eventually no one did to the extent that it would no longer be produced would that be an achievement for the movement? Should we stop listening to it?

    I also really liked your use of the term ‘ladyist.’ I think we do need a new word to refer to the modern feminist movement and to represent its associated diversity. ‘Feminist’ can have such a negative connotation and brings up many historical and radical images. This term definitely has its uses and has significant importance but a new term brings potential for a new definition and may increase people’s willingness to identify with the movement.